half of my soul :laptop, e’net, and writings !!

last nite i said that..GOD was really unfair to me (haha, the sign of inferiority showed up !! )

but, when i look back to the past..LORD..i did the same thing to one of my friend !!

yes, from now on…karma DOES HAPPEN !!! hehehe

so, it helps me to admit and (tend to) rasionalize of what he HAD done with me…In sum..GOD  ( THE ALMIGHTY ALLAH SWT ) ALWAYS BE FAIR TO ALL OF HIS CREATION…only GOD knows the truth, hence only GOD knows the most appropriate weight of fairness…(it’s not my fictional final goals..i believe that form the sole of cognition-physical-social parts !!) ;9

every single action will give something in return !!!

le_solel_brille@hotmail.com

hah, sudah lama menjadi manusia yang tidak produktif !! benar2 tugas akademik dan di luar itu sudah sangat cukup menyita waktu !! yah, definisi produktif memang mempriotitaskan apa yang ada di kepala untuk mencuat hingga menorehkan tintanya di atas kertas..tapi apa boleh di kata..pikiran-pikiran itu semua seakan bercampur lumpur hisap yang ada di memori kepala (haha, udah sukur nggak terlempar ke dunia maya di luar alam sadar, sperti halnya gue dalam misplacing or forgetting something..haha !!)

well, writting is my passion if i could say, and according to Freud, it can be included in of the the ultimate ID !! (a modern one, i think !! hehe), so, if that need cannot be met as soon as possible, then (ideally) the ego try to fulfill the most primitive instinc that human ever has !! However, i do not experience that, what happen then, i try to compensate it with another activity, helping my bestfriend to reach the "hot seat" in senate, being trapped in a ridicolous roms (it’s an own-made slank, pardon me..hehe) relationships ,,and struggling to make ur life get busier !! OH..WHAT HAVE I DONE ????!!!

hehe, tampaknya gue menyiksa diri yah ?? sebenarnya ngga kok, gue hanya sedikit..inget, SEDIKIT merasa insecure karena perbuatan bodoh gue di hal kedua.."it’s been too long that i’m about to be..in time for me..it’s been to long, that i’m in time, that i’m in time.." gitu kalo gue deskripsiin apa yang terjadi sama gue kata five for fighting..tapi, apa yang harus gue lakukan ?? like what i’ve said in my previous blog : i’ve taken this risk !! do not try to hope more if something left unclear !! but it happened far..far..away from hope !!oh, LORD, i’ve lost my principles….one more great loss…

yah, seperti kata teman seperjuangan, vigara (haha, no offense, Bro !!) lo nggak bakal bisa belajar hal-hal krusial (masalah ini unfortunately masuk kawasan krusial gue..since, gue JARANG BGT ngalaminnya..) kayak gini kalo lo nggak ngalamin langsung..

well, it has been proved then !!! gue bersyukur udah pernah ngalamin ini,so in the future life, i could be MUCH MORE careful in locking the rooms of roms (again, slank’s own made!) for every single human who tries to open it..

DON’T YOU SHIVER ?????!!!!!!

gini yah, rasanya didiamkan..

gini yah,rasanya tidak diperhatikan..

gini yah, rasanya merasa gagal atas segala pencapaian..

gini yah, rasanya meratap pada seseorang yg ternyata mirip kamu tapi tak mendapat tanggapan yang semestinya..(karena dia bukan KAMU !!! )

gini yah, oooh,,,gini rasanya…

MAUNYA APA SIH ???!!!! aduh, seperti mengaharap pada suatu ruang abstrak !! unfortunately, i should play with it !!! i’ also have to take the risk , dude !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES, YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO TAKE THE RISK, INSTEAD OF PLAYED SAFELY…!!!! FACE IT !!

ALHAMDULILLAH that hari ini gue di beri pencerahan sama ALLAH SWT….bahwa..gue masih punya sahabat2 yg baik bgt sama gue,,,dan buat lo-lo semua yg ngerasa bertemen sama gue, plis ingetin bgt ketika gue "ilang" dan merasa jauh dari kalian semua..

ini bukan bentuk kekecewaan, amarah, atau belas kasih, ini adalah sebuah penghargaan, rasa terima kasih buat temen2 semua yang rela menjadi temen gue…

so, kita saling terbuka saja teman !! tidak baik ngomong di belakang…dan gue sangat2 menghargai kalian semua yg bisa jujur sama diri sendiri dan orang lain,,ttg semuanya (semua hal yang menyangkut persahabatan kita…) I LOVE U, GUYS !!!

it was a hard day to accept that condition,,moreover, i can never make it without you , guys !! and u never be the SECOND in my life…NEVER !! u’ll always be the FIRST !! i want u to know that…thank’s for being honest to me…;9

we still can hang-out, cheat, laugh, and even cry together, and those, are something i really DON"T WANT TO MISS WITHOUT U..!!!

WE are WE…!!! WE will never breakn up into I and YOU, separately !!!!

BUFFFFFFFFFF……………..!!!

yesterday was an AWFUL day, INDEED !!! can u imagine having trapped in a very crowded traffic jam ?? it was terribly hectic and a lot of people seemed being arrogant and impatient !! (unfortunately the driver of the public car did the same thing, with cutting another car’s quieng line !! oh, HOLY COW !!) yeah, and the feeling of anxiety caused by the unpreparedness to face tomorrow’s mid-test make it even worse !!!!!

actually i went home to take my handouts and text-book of personality theories ( if i didn’t forget to put it to my bag on Monday, I would’ve felt this stressful event!! hah…;9) ok, but it did happen, dude !! i took the M-19 car at 17.30 pm, and a lot of cars started to crawl 3 minutes after i get into it…at first  i thought it would just a normal traffic jam when all work-people returned to their home..but actually it was worse than that !!! my driver said that there was a mass-fight between the university student of PANCASILA and ISTN/ISSIP (one of those univ, i haven’t got the rite info), because one of them was beaten at FUTSAL GAME !!! HOLY COW !!! they were sooooooooo CHILDISH !!!!!!!!!!!!m they are UNIVERSITY STUDENT, dude !!!!! and they should’ve acted in the more appropriate and mature way !! discussing, for instance…(and WHAT THE HECK OF BEING INVOLVED IN THAT KIND OF FIGHTING CAUSED BY FUTSALL GAME ???)

it was such a good example of sosial facilitation, when somebody intensify their action when the presence of another person occur….but then they just have their identity diffused and lessen the sense of being responsible for their action because they are anonimous in the crowd !!! they’ve experienced deindividuation !!!

sucks with all of them then !!!